I left in March, thinking I will see you after a week. Little did I know, it would be the last time I would ever see you Cotton. We always do it, don’t we? Thinking we have forever when we are all living on borrowed time anyway. When it happens, we all get so surprised even though we always knew any moment could be our last time spending with someone or something. If we just try to cherish each loving person or pet in this way, we will probably do a much better job in enjoying life and treating them. All we have to do is, live and love like it's the last moment.
I am happy you are alive, but there's so much I want to tell you. First I need you to know that I did not abandon you. I would be stupid to do that. You were such a loyal pet, and so loving; my baby boy. I did not deserve that. People really hurt me by saying, “It was just an animal”. Yes surely my Cotton was a cat, an animal, but please don’t use the “just” word. It is a love I am grateful to have felt.
It was not just you Cotton, it was everything I had there. My fishes in the tank with their rationed food probably died a horrible death as seven days turned to a month, and more. The plants I grew from seeds withered and I never returned. Believe me, I did not know that our time was about to end because if I did, I probably would not be busy decorating my closet. And I would have planned better, taken you with me, or closed our house down properly.
I traveled for my grandma, so I don’t regret that. Some heartless people say that it was better if I did not travel. Why? For what would you say that? I would always choose to go to my grandma who brought me up hearing that she became extremely sick. Just wish I knew about the future so probably would have planned it better, that’s all. In the end, it opened my eyes and saved me. To love requires courage, and you need the courage to do things that do not always go in the best direction for you but you do it anyway. I am lucky to have come across this heavenly feeling of “love”.
Out of all the things I lost, nothing hurts me as much as losing you Cotton. It seems just that day I started writing my literature review for my thesis and you curled up on my lap. I would have to look around before moving my chair so you don’t get hurt because you were a clingy cat; always nearby.
I am really sorry that I was slightly agitated by you peeing everywhere. I knew you were going through a phase but you peeing around wasn’t fun for me. Probably you are over that phase now. Thought you would be there and you would see and play with my babies, but oh well.
Mostafa could have traveled and stayed with you but he would miss bringing up his daughters that way. He did not want to lose that and everything was unstable due to constantly changing laws and lockdowns. He did not want to risk not seeing us for a long while. The laws did not allow you to travel either. Till now you cannot travel as cargo to Turkey, so I was going to have to make you and all of our travel twice and we were ready for it.
We tried our best to bring you, and you waited a year in a pet home. Truly believed in my heart that I would see you again but you got sick. You could not have handled the flight and rough handling. So just the moment we could be united, I needed to do what would be best for you. I let you go. I let myself love you selflessly which was hard because I wanted you with me. But it would be better if a loving family took care of you instead. So our parting happened but without any farewell.
We were a team you know. The moment there was a stranger or me opening the door, you would go with me. Even hiss at a stranger. During any arguments, you would sit by me, a big ball of fur. You loved me so much and I did not do enough. You were not “just” an animal, you were my family.
You were with me through thick and thin. When I cried, you sometimes used to put your paw on my hand, or just curl up. I miss you. But I am happy that within a week, you got adopted by a nice family. Hopefully, they will love you a lot, they just lost their pet and then adopted you. Try to be nice to them and give them your love and fill their lives with happiness just the way you did mine.
Please be nice to your pets, and loved ones. No one knows when it is the last moment. I hope I meet you Cotton again in another life. Wish you just so much happiness. I planned a welcome back tuna cake for you but it is okay. We have to say goodbye. Wish you could read, but hopefully, God said it to you. Love you just so much. You can never be replaced. Take care, my handsome baby boy.